loving motherhood in those in-the-middle moments, too

I'm busy. I'm a homeschooling mama with big dreams and ideas and a fairly large number of children in our family. My days are busy, I'm often spread thin, and if I succeed at a dozen things in one day, then I feel like I also fail at another dozen, too. Mothering is hard, yet motherhood is amazing. It's such an honor, a wonderful, wonderful thing, and when I get over my stresses and silly worries and obsession with trying to be organized and have a perfectly uncluttered home and neatly groomed children, I find peace in the notion that I am doing exactly what I want to be doing everyday, what I have chosen to do. In those moments when I get over my stress, I'm thankful for my children, and I call myself crazy for wanting to do more and more things that are all about me and less about us. But you know what? These shining little moments of clarity in my walk as a mother often come in the super sweet and wonderfully fun moments of life. OR I have found myself finding clarity and a renewed sense of purpose in my role as a mother during the sadder moments of life, or the more worrisome or heartbreaking or challenging ones. The highs and lows of life teach me so much, and I think I'm not alone in saying this.

When my kids came down with the flu a few years ago, and I rocked them to sleep while they struggled to find rest, I wanted nothing more than to be there for them in all of their moments. If they could just get over their fevers, then I would be more thankful for their health than I ever had been before. And then there was the time my baby had that terrible cough with that awful whooping sound. As I stayed up with him through his coughing spasms and waited for him to catch his breath, I knew there was no where else I would rather be. I knew that all of the silly pressures and deadlines and minor disappointments in my life didn't matter as much as the sweet baby in my arms. If he could just get better. If he could just catch his breath and clear his lungs and get better, then I would be a better mother. I would quit getting annoyed with whiny kids, and instead, show them how to express themselves by being patient and kind myself. I would quit complaining about never getting me time, and instead delight in the fact that I have sweet little children to read bedtime stories to. And there was the time I miscarried a sweet little life. That little life changed me as a mother in such a huge, immeasurable way. I became a more patient, loving, dedicated, and thankful mother while carrying that sweet baby. I tried to stop taking so many things for granted as I struggled to hold on and keep up hope. I loved carrying that little life, and when I lost that baby and looked at that tiny little body, I knew life was amazing, and I would not take motherhood for granted one more day.

But I was wrong. I did take it for granted - motherhood, my children, life, everything. Because weeks and then months passed by after that tragedy. Life got normal again, things became happy and routine, and then I got tired, and the kids got loud and tired and fussy one day, and they took all of the board games out of our organized closet and scattered all of the pieces to all of the games on the floor, and I wanted to send them to bed at 3 in the afternoon, while I put on a grown up movie and forgot about all the chaos a while. I wanted to throw all of their games away, and I wondered what my life would be if I spent more time writing and less time mothering. But I knew the answer. I knew my life wouldn't be what I wanted it to be, or what my kids would want it to be. In my present daily life, there are no unnecessary moments that I want to trade in for more me time. I am their teacher. I am their nurturer. I am the one who is here for them, and even though it is trying at times, it is wonderful. I am not always good at doing this. I can lose my patience. I can misunderstand them. I often find myself exhausted and frustrated and ordering a pizza when I just don't want to prepare and clean up after another organic, healthy meal. But then I remember what it felt like to look down at the little body of the baby I lost. I remember that in that moment I felt such pain, but also such love, and I try my best to hold on to that love and share it with the parts of my family I have here with me.

math is a total in-the-middle moment for me...
definitely not a highlight of my day

And it is pretty simple to share overflowing love with my family during the really great times, not just the really tragic ones. I sometimes find myself sitting in my living room in front of the fire, reading to my kids and then just stopping and thinking, "This is it. This is what I want to be doing more than anything else." But when the coziness of those moments pass, I'm not so great at feeling content in the mundane moments - those moments when nothing tragic is happening, but also nothing especially great is happening, like during breakfast or while washing dishes or while working on a math lesson with one of my kids. And that's a little sad to me, because those mundane in-the-middle moments are really the moments that make up most of my life. I want to be thankful and content in those in-the-middle moments. I want those moments to be fulfilling, too. I want to see God in those moments, and I want to serve Him there. I want to love my kids in those moments and to not spend those moments wishing I were doing something different or worrying about what might come next that isn't so in-the-middle. I'll continue to enjoy and love special days with the kids, and I know there are probably going to be many lessons to learn over the years from trying times, but I'm hoping to love life and learn from it at other times, too. I want to be better at that. Is that totally unrealistic - to love life and learn from it at 7 in the morning when I just finished cleaning the kitchen that I didn't clean the night before and the kids are all hoping for muffins for breakfast when I was hoping they'd want some fruit and yogurt, so I could save some time and dishes and then maybe use that time to wash my hair or drink some coffee in semi-peace?

Maybe it is unrealistic, but I've never been much for setting realistic goals anyway.

(And just to be clear: I'm all for a little mama time-out and quiet coffee time, and I'm certainly all for carving out writing time and piano playing time and whatever kind of time a mama like myself is passionate about. I'm just saying I don't want to always be wanting more and more and more time just for me at the expense of the kids' little hearts and minds. I don't want them to grow up with a stressed out mom who only appreciates them and cuddles with them and tells them an extra story when they are sick or sad or when times are tough. I want them to feel like I love spending my days with them, because, really, I do.
That said,  I love my coffee and a quiet spot. So much.)

Why Creative Writing?...

The first creative writing course I took (that I can recall...) was in college. I always wrote on my own and did exercises here and there and knew I wanted to write since preschool, but creative writing is often just a thing for adults. After getting my masters in Creative Writing and entering the world of writers and courses and teaching writing courses, I've come across and taught courses for adults. That's a pretty popular thing, adults and creative writing courses. But not as much so for kids. Why not spend more time helping these young imagination superstars write creatively, too?



We love classical education . We love it, and we use it in our homeschool, which means we are deep in the world of memorizing and facts and doing things in an ordered and exact way in many areas of education, so I think the choice to include creative writing in our kids' education might seem a little surprising to anyone out there who knows we are classically educating our kiddos. So, why are we choosing to encourage our kids to write creatively in a home that is full of grammar (grammar as in memory work, not how we speak...)? Well, it's simple; because kids are sponges who soak up an unspeakable amount of info every single day, yet they are also imagination superstars, and I want them to learn to work with both of these sides before they grow up to be more serious versions of themselves called grown-ups. Anyone who listens to a child's dreams or sits and watches her children put on a play in the living room or who listens to her child's request for a meal of all his favorite things mixed together knows that children have great imaginations, which means children have some stories to tell. So I say this: let them tell the stories, and help them to tell them in their own way and in their own time and in their own fantastical style. There will be time for restating questions, word count, spell check, and working around a rubric later - lots and lots and lots of time for that. But for now, I want to be there with a sheet of paper and a midnight blue colored pencil when a daughter has a story in her mind, and I want to sit down with her (if she wants company) and encourage her to put those ideas down on paper, so that she can share her mind with the world or with her family or just with herself. I want her to learn that her imaginings are valuable, something to be recorded and saved, and then I want to show her that they can be crafted into something amazing. I challenge all of the teachers and parents (including and especially myself!) to keep on teaching, but to also take a step back now and again and let the kids lead us to their own world, a place they make up, and to help them show that place on paper. Sometimes that will mean we are simply the person who answers the "how do you spell...." questions over and over again as the kids write, and sometimes that means we say, "if you can't write your story quickly enough for your mind, then tell it to me, and I'll write it down for you", and other times that means we silently support them from the other side of the room and watch greatness happen. And then there are times when we say, "If you don't know what to write, then how about you start with....".

It's a pretty cool thing to let a little creative writer take the lead, even if she doesn't think she is a writer and doesn't want to be one. Give it a try, and take away some of the rules. Sometimes a kid who doesn't want to write is actually a kid who doesn't want to write what he is being told to write or where he is being told to write it. 

The first exercise in the writing workbook my brother and I created focuses on finding a good writing spot. A change of scenery can sometimes make all the difference. Move out of the classroom, or stay in the classroom and sit under the desk. Let your kid write where it works for them (within reason of course!...).

...another favorite writing spot

One favorite writing spot in our home

What I'm saying here is this: I can't think of a reason to make kids wait for high school or even college to write creatively. Yes, there are rules for good writing and those should be followed, but first and foremost, let's encourage our young imagination superstars to create something of their own on paper with words. Maybe they will one day be a world changing writer, and maybe they will never really love writing. But the experience of being encouraged to write creatively can help kids feel valued and teach them to express themselves and can even help them find a love of other art forms and aspects of life. Clearly, I'm excited about this, but writing with kids is just SO MUCH FUN.

Give a kid a blank page, and watch them go.

My brother and I have just released our first creative writing workbook into the world. This is the first workbook in a series of workbooks designed to get kids writing creatively, as in writing down something in an imaginative way, a way that is all their own and that is more about how they are writing than what they are writing. The three follow-up workbooks will all have lined pages, BUT the first workbook, titled Write Something. a course in creative writing for kids, includes twenty-six writing inspirations for kids, and absolutely NO LINED PAGES. I know that sounds like crazy talk, and believe me, we put a lot, lot, lot of thought into this decision. I have kids, and I kind of remember being a kid, and I KNOW that pages without lines often lead to drooping lines and sometimes even frustration, BUT I also know that a fresh, white sheet of unlined paper also leads to greatness...because when a kid has the freedom to use the paper as they wish, they often go a little deeper into their imagination. They often let themselves write a story in the shape of a house, or draw a masterpiece right in the middle of a fantastic sentence, and they often feel more ownership of their story, of their work of art, because they were free to decide just what to do with the paper and how to do it. And ya know, there can be something a little intimidating (or a lot intimidating) about a page full of lines, especially to a brand new writer (and I mean a new creative writer as well as a person to whom handWRITING is even new). The lines can seem to stand there staring back at you, saying, "You sure have a lot of lines to fill up on this page." And it can be an awful thing to some writers (uh....me....) to have a finished story, sitting there on the page with empty lines following it. That just seems wrong, ya know. OR, for those future novelists out there, lines can be frustrating because there are two FEW of them. There's just never the right amount of lines, it seems. So, in this first workbook we have created, there is none of that. There's just empty pages, ready to be used however the young writer sees fit after they read through or listen to the inspirations provided.

Whether or not your young writer is working through our workbook, I clearly think a blank page can be a wonderful thing. Give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, if you have a cool little rule-follower who just wants LINES, then that's great, too. And then I say this: Hand a kid a ruler and let them draw their own lines, in their perfect spacing and amount. That is a kind of creativity, too.

Carys Organics: a sweet break in our homeschool day

Anyone who reads this blog knows we are tea drinkers. More specifically, we are tea party throwers and afternoon tea takers. I've found there aren't many quarreling sisters and discouraged little mathematicians whose days can't be brightened a bit by some quiet time with Mama and a warm cup of tea in a fancy china cup. Now, we'll just have to wait and see if this mood lifting method continues to work in our house once this baby boy grows up a bit. I might just have to change the afternoon tea time up a little, but for now, we are all lace and honey and tea parties. SO, I was absolutely delighted when I heard of a tea business started up by a working stay at home mom who lives in my neck of the woods. She blends her own tea, steeps her own candles with local beeswax, AND she just opened up her etsy shop and launched her website. Stay at home mothering combined with creativity and working is usually enough to get my attention, but combine it with tea and candles (I mentioned on a previous post that I have a daughter who focuses better with a scented candle in the schoolroom...), and I'm really listening. I browsed her etsy shop, since I am an etsy lover, and made a mental note to purchase some of her wares at some point, and then went on about my usual routine, UNTIL Deborah of this wonderful tea business, Carys Organics, happened to gift me with a couple of her tea blends to try out, and now that I've tried them, I'm hooked.

So, here's what I want to say to you all about Carys Organics (I'll be as to the point as a wordy girl like me can easily be...):

These teas were beautiful. I mean, they looked like potpourri that I would be totally happy to set out in a Mason Jar in my home for decoration (of course I can't do that seeing that my baby or a kid even would probably just eat the leaves....sigh....).

While I am a tea drinker, I am in no way a tea expert. I don't time how long my tea steeps. I know this is what you should do, and I don't measure it, either. I know this totally takes away my credibility to many, but I have to keep this real. So, when I make tea, I do what I do while cooking: I just do it, and when it is over, I generally don't recall exactly how I did it or what I did. Please accept my humble apologies if you are a serious tea brewer. I know that was probably painful to read. BUT, with that said, the tea smelled rich and tasted wonderful.

The first blend we tried was called Autumn in a Cup, which was spicy and warm and everything I want in a seasonal drink. The kids said the tea was "applesaucey", "and cinnamon-y". We have a family tradition of making lots of applesauce in the fall, and so I was so glad to hear the tea made them think of that. I added local honey to their tea, and they just loved it.It made me think of all the good fall things, including spices and apples. We used it as a homeschooling opportunity, to discuss fall. The tea leaves even look like fall with their rich colors.This is the kind of thing I look for as a homeschooling Mama: creative ways to teach my kids something. We crack a lot of books around here, but seeing things hands on, talking about real things so we can learn more about other real things...now that is one homeschooling perk. Having the freedom to learn about a season over a cup of tea named for that season, well that is just fun. And now my teacher mind is running away with other seasonal activities and ideas for treats...have I mentioned that I love fall?

The second tea I tried was Deborah's chai blend. It was dark, rich, and different from other chai's I have tasted, darker and fuller. I hope that makes sense. It was like other chai teas, but grown up and sophisticated a little more. Chai is my favorite tea, and this blend was spicy, and very, very rich. Perfect for a cool day. When I poured in a cup of steamed milk, it became a serious treat. I'm not sure about the caffeine content here, but since chai generally has a higher caffeine content, I felt no shame in announcing this tea was just for Mama, and since the kids had thoroughly enjoyed their Autumn in a Cup with honey, they didn't mind in the least. Moms want to have their own treats sometimes, right?

When I sat down to write this blog, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to say other than "I love homeschooling. I love tea. And I love homeschooling with tea." But now, I think that the main message I'd like to put down here is this: I love being a mother who connects with other mothers who are trying to do the same thing I want to do: Love my children and create something I love while doing that. I'm so glad we spent a morning with Carys Organics tea blends in our little school. My kids finished the tea party by discussing what fall is all about to them, and I really feel like we all got to know each other better. Not one tea cup was chipped in the process, which was pretty cool, since we are often chipping cups and plates and everything else around here. It's so easy for me to get in Crazy Mama mode during our days at home, and to try to work our way through school work and house work quickly, and to fail to enjoy quiet, sweet moments together. I'm so glad we had tea time together this morning. My laundry is piled up to a ridiculous height, but it was well worth it. Goodness knows, there will always, always be laundry around here, but I keep trying to remind myself that there won't always be cute little kids holding on to tea cups with big smiles on their faces.

Sorry if this post was all too warm and fuzzy, BUT it's tea and Autumn and sharing with family. The warm fuzzies have just taken over.




And in the spirit of sharing and encouraging, what are your favorite small, local, or stay at home mom businesses/products? Please do share in a comment!

Taking a time out from stickers.

I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed, and I might regret writing a blog post while annoyed, and I know I might even soften up to this thing that has me annoyed later on, but since I'm a pajama-ed mother in a venting mood tonight, I'm just going to go with this feeling, and write what's on my mind. And here it is: What in the world is with all these rewards and prizes and presents and "if you do what you're supposed to do, then I'll buy you a doll or a pony or give you something to eat that is horrible for you?" What ever happened to simply expecting kids to behave, or at least make a reasonable effort at behaving because they are human beings who need to learn to be good and kind and smart and capable and enjoyable to be around? What about that?

Let me back up here, and say this: I love a good potty training for chocolate chip system. I appreciate a warm batch of cookies baked as a thank you for a child's willingness to be an extra good helper one week, and buying a new puzzle for a kid who finally took the initiative and cleaned up all of her toys on her own for ten days straight makes a lot of sense to me. That said, I think it can be easy to go overboard on the reward system. A new toy for reading extra books here, candy for a clean room, more candy for working hard at sports practice, extra dessert for helping a sibling with school work, stickers for not talking during class, coupons for ice cream for obeying the teacher, snacks in exchange for a few minutes of silence, extra movie watching time if you will just please oh please let mommy talk to daddy for a minutes, a dinner out for learning all of the week's spelling words, and the list goes on and on and on until what we have are some heavily rewarded kids who will do anything for a treat, as long as the treat is shiny or sweet enough. 

Rewards can be great. I mean, if what we are trying to do is raise wonderful little humans who will one day be wonderful old humans, then a reward system can prepare little ones for being rewarded or missing out on perks in the work place and in life in general, BUT rewarding for every little thing is just setting kids up for.....what?....a lifetime of sitting on the bench until some great big incentive is offered up, and then and only then will a person get up off the bench and do something? What happens between all of the prizes? Nothing....just waiting, letting other people live and do and accomplish and pursue and dream and be kind and good and do what needs to be done or what can be done. 

So here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to try my best to refrain from words like "if you do this, then you'll get....", and I'm going to try to say more words like "you need to do this" or "do this please." No more "because", no "if", no "and"....just a requirement followed by an expectation. An expectation because I believe in my kids. I love them, and I think they are fabulous and capable, and though they don't always behave or complete or follow through, I know that they can. And they'll see my expectations, and my hope, and I really do think they will feel loved and honored because of the faith I have in their decision making abilities and in their hearts and in their goodness. And when they don't accomplish what I would like for them to accomplish, then we will keep working at it, and they'll keep feeling loved even if there is some correction waiting on them. When accomplishments are made, then they will be rewarded with smiles and hugs and praise and all the good kinds of feelings that doing good things brings, and sometimes, I may surprise them with a little thank you, a trip to the coffee shop for tea with honey or a new pair of silly socks or an exciting chapter book. But hopefully, those tokens of my appreciation will be a bonus, something to brighten their day, something unexpected, not a payment owed to them. Not something that is theirs to take, rather than someone else' to give. I want good things for my kids. I do. I just don't want all the things in the world for them all the time. I want them to love doing good things, not just love rewards at the end of good things. And maybe a reward system will work its way into our home and school every now and then, but it will be small and seasonal and short lived enough that it will be, hopefully, special and not expected. 

You know, I started out this blog post annoyed, and now I'm hopeful. We can do this, right? I know I won't cut out all of the rewards in their lives, but hopefully when those rewards come, they will appreciate the reward more, and appreciate the hard work they did to get that reward. Just like I'm hoping against hope that they will appreciate the treasures they already have. With a closet full of toys, why of why, would they require more stuff before they decide to do what they should do? More stuff doesn't make a good child. This is basic, this is simple, and I'm betting this is pretty undisputed, so why not live according to this truth. You want to be educated, then read and write and compute. You want to play an instrument, then practice. You want to be a fun person to be around, then be kind and sensitive to the feelings of others. You want a sticker for that?....then the accomplishment just may not be worth enough to you, and that is the thing that needs to be worked on - finding value in hard work, success, and polishing talents. If my kid doesn't want to work on her reading, then I hope I can find ways to show her the value of reading, rather than putting value on something else entirely, like a new doll earned by half-heartedly reading twenty books. That's not fixing the problem, only putting it off, to be dealt with or ignored on another day. I want to fix the problems we come across in our family. I want to, and I hope I can, but if I can't, then there will be consequences of some sort, I'm sure of that, and if I can fix problems that arise, then I pray I'm happy to live in that success, rather than holding out my hand at the end of a long day, hoping someone will put something sugary into it for all of my hard work.

Moms say odd things.

Here's a glimpse into my personal brand of mothering perfection.


I'll keep this one short. It's another one of those crazy, wonderful, busy days, but I'm taking a few minutes with a latte (I know that sounds so cliche....yoga pants mama and her latte and all, but I can't help it...coffee is just better to me with steamed milk and I need the coffee, so here I am with my pretentious beverage) to make a list of things I actually said lately that sounded to me like things no real-life version of me would ever be saying. But I'm a mother to little ones, and with that comes all sorts of weirdness. So, here's a little list of out of my mouth weirdness, things I actually and really did say:

1. Stop riding the dog. (The joys of having a dog that looks like a pony to a preschooler...)

2. I want to hire a sitter so I can  take a break to catch up on laundry or organize the kids' clothes.  (Who other than a mother would pay 12 dollars an hour to do chores?...)

3. I'll give everyone a chocolate chip for each thing they find in this house to give away. (And I was a genius and didn't set any kind of limits on this...chaos....pure chaos around here as everyone brought everything to offer up in exchange for chocolate chips...nothing was sacred or safe...not even our pillows)

4. Tea party for dinner? (This goes along with other personal favorites of "Who wants cranberries for breakfast? Salad for dessert? Smoothies for dinner? Pizza party!-as in: crackers with tomato sauce and cheese on top for lunch today, kids! ". Feeding a family of six gets a little off sometimes...My family is well-fed, so please don't worry, but there are days when meal time comes around and we make randomness work. 

5. You're in the toilet! (Yep.)

6. Please stop eating paper. Just...please. (Please.)

7. If you play outside for a little while, then I'll let you be quiet and read for the rest of the day. (Okay, so I get this one and wouldn't call it strange myself, but I'm thinking it might sound strange to the rest of the world out there....maybe a little backwards?....but that's just the way it is around here...)

8. Will you come get this bug for Mama? (I know, this one is just shameful, but they're braver than I am, and at least I'm honest and humble enough to admit it, right?)

9. Where are your pants?! (Okay, so this one isn't too strange, but it's just the crazy amount of times I say this in a week or even a day that is surprising to me. We had some friends visit once, and they commented that we say this pretty much all day long. What is it with toddlers losing their pants?...)

10. What I really want for my birthday is a steam mop. (Now that's a gift.)

11. Did you just eat a dog treat? (Yes, they're organic, but they are duck, and DOG treats...)

And on tomorrow' agenda: number 12....whatever that may be.

inexpensive, little added clutter, and fun: three things to give a little girl on a rainy day or any day

Once upon a time there were four amazing kids. These kids were blessed with toys and games and puzzles and all sorts of fun things created by fun people and sold by fun stores. Alas, these four amazing kids more often than not, left those shiny toys and games and puzzles on the shelves to play with boxes, their mama's hand me down jewelry, paper and found-in-nature craft supplies, and so many other hundreds of trinkets and baubles and sticks and left over packaging and hand-me-down goodies.

If this sounds like a familiar story, then you're certainly not alone. We (and grandparents and friends and aunts and uncles and almost every else...) spend money and time procuring just the right gift and developmental toys for our kiddos, only to find that the toys are often not played with regularly, aren't taken care of properly, clutter up our homes, or are put aside as kids would usually rather go on an outdoor adventure or come up with something to do on their own inside. Now I still love giving my girls new books and baby dolls and wooden puzzles and family games, BUT I try my best to remember that, sometimes, the best gifts to share with my kids don't come from an expensive toy store.

Here's my top three "gifts" to give my daughters that encourage creativity, don't break the bank, and don't clutter the house as much as more shiny and new and plastic-y toys or gifts might:

1. A box. This is pretty obvious. Think back to childhood. How cool was it to climb inside the cardboard box from the new kitchen appliance and pretend you were in a fort or a castle or even just to hide from your big brother? The possibilities are endless. Plus, boxes are generally free, can be decorated easily, and when the kids are done imagining they are pirates in a cardboard ship, the cardboard can be recycled. Done.

2. Hand-me-down jewelry. When we are in the middle of a rainy day or maybe stuck at home due to an illness, there's not much more exciting to a little girl than getting to go through her mother's jewelry box (with mom's help, of course). And then on extra special days, I might just give away a necklace or bracelet to one or two or three of my daughters. Because really, I can't take it with me, and the look on their little faces when they are trusted with a piece of mama's jewelry is just priceless. This also brings up a great opportunity for sharing memories with kids ("Mommy got this necklace when I was dating Daddy during college...") and for teaching kiddos about responsibility and taking care of things.

3. A magazine subscription. Okay, so this costs money and needs to be ordered. BUT, I have to list this one, because we have had so much fun giving our daughters each a subscription to a children's magazine. They learn to be patient as they wait for the next one to come, and there are so many great magazines out there that teach kids great lessons, provide them with educational activities, and show them about different parts of their world. The prices on these vary, but most are very affordable and surprisingly lower than I would have expected. Also, the clutter is minimal. No huge hunks of plastic in our living room. Just some thin magazines which can be later shared with other kids, cut up for collages, or recycled.

NOTE: I'm guessing boys would enjoy these things, too. Even the jewelry. Boys like pirates, and pirates like treasures, no? And boys also love their Mamas, so why not share a trinket of yours with a son. I just titled this post ..."things to give a little girl..." because my son is still a baby, and I haven't given him anything on a rainy day yet...besides my time and my cuddles.

What do you give your kids on a rainy day?...

Two basic items that make this mama's life simpler

I often have a messy house, and I often find myself at 5:00 in the evening with no dinner plans, so please know that I'm making no claims of mothering perfection here, especially on the mess and dinner fronts. BUT, I am making this claim: There are two items that make this mothering life a whole world easier. And that is no exaggeration. I mean it. I couldn't imagine my days as a mother without these two items, and the great part is: they are both easy to find and not super expensive. What are these two magical items that make my home cleaner than I could have ever imagined (on some days...) and that make supper ready when we are ready for it, despite the so-called "killer hour" of 4:30-5:30 when everyone melts down?

The first is a.....basket. Mothers everywhere generally have baskets everywhere filled with all sorts of goodies and not-so-goodies, but this basket it different. This basket sits in our laundry room and is labeled "DONATE". And any time I see a toy or book or clothing item or whatever on the floor that we could do without or that isn't taken care of, it goes straight to the donation bin. As I fold laundry and notice a pair of shorts that are a little on the short side for my kiddos, they go straight to the donation bin. As I reach for the big platter at the top of my kitchen cabinet, I catch sight of a second gravy boat that has no need to be in my house, and (guess what?...) it goes straight into that donation basket. And about once a week, sometimes three times a week, and sometimes once every other week, that basket is full, and we place the contents in a bag, put it in the van, and then drop it off at a local organization in need. This sounds basic, but the key for me is that I have a designated place to put things we are ready to let go of at all times, which keeps me from putting it away for later to take up space or make another mess. It was only recently that I realized the key to a clean house (NOT saying I always have one, but maybe one day...), and that key is simple: HAVE LESS STUFF. Homes in magazines look beautiful and clean because there generally aren't overstuffed dresser drawers and extra sunglasses and purses covering counters and overflowing toy boxes. Everything can't be in its place if there are more things than places, right? And I am not a person who would ever stay on top of organizing if I didn't have this basket, sitting and waiting and reminding me that there is a place for all of those extra stuffed animals and purses. Plus this basket reminds my family that it makes much more sense to share the stuff we have, especially when we have way more than we need.

And the second item making my mothering life easier? A big ol' pot. This one is so simple. I am a morning person, and my kids, like most kids, are morning people, at least after-breakfast morning people. And I am not a late afternoon person, and my kids, like most kids, are not late afternoon people. We all tend to lose steam around here or lose tempers or hurt feelings or need a nap or need cuddle time or skid knees or fall behind on math lessons or need to talk out an important issue or learn a major life lesson right at the time I might need to be chopping and preparing dinner. SOOOO......I have found the secret to success on the supper front around here is to chop stuff up in the morning, throw it in a big ol' pot, stir and season and check on it throughout the day as it simmers and makes the house smell like effort and goodness, and then when my role as mommy is at its most pressing, I can be the mama my kids need, and know that as soon as we are done talking things out or straightening out an argument or putting on the band-aid or learning about Mozart or whatever, supper is ready and waiting in the pot. And some days, I encourage my kids to come up with random goodness on their own to help throw into the pot. "What vegetables are in season locally and would taste good together?" Kids just love to be creative in the kitchen, and slow cooking really lends itself to experimenting, since you can usually fix things as needed, adding a little more salt when it was forgotten in the beginning or throwing in a few more potatoes along the way when kids (or parents) got a little too ambitious with the salt. I like to use a huge enameled casserole pot or an old-fashioned iron pot, but a crockpot works, too. And a plus here is that the kitchen clean-up is much easier after dinner when only one pot is used. My "poor" kids probably have stew, roast, chicken and dumplings, beans, soup, or something along those lines a few times a week. When they get older, I wouldn't be surprised if the big ol' pot goes missing at some point and I find a pizza pan in its place. But until then, I'm enjoying days of having the work of dinner done before the morning is over. 

What makes your days simpler? 

Our Literature Notebooks

It's no secret that I'm a big fan of introducing kids to classic literature and other longer books of substance long before they are ready to read these books on their own. Just because kids don't understand every single word or can't decipher the sentences on the page without help does not mean there is not much they can gain from a good chapter book. Because we are a slightly big family, I'm often on the lookout for one on one time with my children. I think this is really important, just as important as quality family time and quality sibling time. So we decided to combine our love of literature with our desire to spend quiet moments alone with our children one on one.

So here's the super simple model for our literature lesson time:

After each of our children completes a well-rounded Kindergarten curriculum, we begin working on literature notebooks with them as part of their elementary education. This does not necessarily coincide with the calendar year for Kindergarten, since our kids get to work at their own pace. We begin by naming a bunch of different books we consider of solid literary value to our children, and then they choose any of the books we name. I give lots of choices, and really, I'm just naming good books off the top of my head on that given day. If we own the book, then that is great, but if not, then we have fun making a trip to a used or local bookstore, or the library, or sometimes we order a book if we can't find it locally. The book choosing is part of the fun; the kids don't usually know what the book is about. They are just choosing an interesting sounding title, and so the book's content is often a surprise to them. And then approximately five times a week (we like to be flexible around here), I find something constructive (hopefully!) for the other kiddos to work on, while I grab some time to sit side by side with the little listener and read aloud one chapter from the chosen book. And here's something that I think is important, which many people strongly agree with and many people strongly disagree with: I read the words the writer put on the page, and I DO NOT stop to explain new vocabulary or ask questions or make points. Not only do I think stopping to explain or define interferes with the story and imposes my beliefs about the story on the child, but stopping to explain new words also implies that kids need that kind of explanation, when I think the best way to learn new words is by hearing them in context and letting their little minds remember them and use them on their own. This is not literary criticism time, but simply relaxing and reading and listening time. Now that doesn't mean I won't respond if they ask what a certain word means. It just means that I trust them to hear the story and to get it on their own level. And if their little mind wanders from time to time while I'm reading through a longer chapter, then that's okay, and hopefully, that wandering mind has something to do with the adventure they are listening to in the book.

After completing the chapter, if I ask them anything, I simply ask, "What did you think?" and I just listen. And most of the time, that is the end of our literary lesson, but on special days, we come to the end of the chapter book, and then we get out my child's literature notebook, which is one of those old school composition books. We use the ones with room for drawing on top of the lined pages, like this:

And then our kid gets to choose their favorite part of the entire chapter book. I just love this part, hearing what their little unique self picked out of hundreds of pages as their very favorite part. When my five year old chose a silly song from Alice in Wonderland as her favorite part, I just smiled and laughed, because that was so like her and such a unique choice. I would have chosen some dramatic scene, but this sweet and funny little girl of mine chose a song.

 We find that passage in the book, and then they copy it straight from the book onto the lines of the notebook. They then make their own illustrations to show how the scenes looked in their own heads. Each entry is finished off with writing the author's name and then listing herself as the illustrator.






Copywork is a practice which schools utilized a great deal in the early part of the last century and also well before that, and it is making a fantastic come back. I think it's a great way to learn to write, remember, learn grammar, and also to look for value in literature.

It's great that my kids and I get this one on one time. Most days it is a wonderful experience for me to read chapters to my kiddos, but on some days, it is tiring. How long is this chapter? And then I have to read another one to your sister? But it is worth it, I know, and I keep telling myself that, as mothers everywhere tell themselves about so many things which can be a little tiring at times. And one major plus about this for my kids is that when this is all said and done, they each have a notebook filled with all of their favorite passages from books they read in their childhood with their mother. I love this, especially since I am a slacker at keepsakes and scrapbooks. At least we have our literature notebooks.

Pictured above: my oldest daughter's first literature notebook entry from her very first Narnia experience 

Learning with a favorite board game (Free Printables!)

My kids' violin teacher suggested we use Candy Land to practice violin, and I just loved this idea. So, one night I created an easy key and set of directions for applying our Suzuki violin practice tasks to playing this beloved board game. We played the game, and it was a success. Oh, and this mama went a little crazy and created two other sets of instructions for using Candy Land in our learning time. We now use this game to practice violin, our Classical Conversations memory work, and creative writing. As many creative teachers out there know, the possibilities are endless for using popular board games like Candy Land as learning tools because of the simple concepts and fun visuals on the boards, and also, kids love to win, or at least try to, so games are great in the home and classroom...and home classroom. At some point, after another cup of coffee, I want to go through our game/school closet and see what other activities we can turn in to school drills.

But look at this closet. (And this is after another crazy closet purge...) That will take a while. I'm hoping to get that done and to create a neat little binder with instructions for playing various popular games to practice school content. We'll see...

Please feel free to download the free printable instructions on pdf I've created for playing Candy Land as learning practice by selecting the link(s) below, and please note: I am a big fan of Candy Land and its creators but in no way am I affiliated with Milton Bradley; I'm too busy braiding hair and molding little minds for a 9 to 5 gig. This was just for fun and learning and learning fun.

Violins in Candy Land

Memory Work in Candy Land

Creative Writing in Candy Land

Have fun! And thanks to my girls' violin teacher for the idea!

The Great Summer Music Challenge

Well, it's been a while. I took a blogging break as we welcomed our baby boy to the family. Which means so many wonderful and amazing things for our family and for me as a mother, but in the small world of this blog, it means: we need a new subtitle. It's still pretty different for me to think we are not just in a world of daughters. Things are going to keep on changing around here, and while I have so enjoyed the last seven years of being a mother to daughters and loved living in a world of no-boys-allowed tea parties and fashion shows, I am so thrilled to see what the next years bring as we add some more blue into our home.

Now that we are all settled in to being a family of six, I'm slowly, slowly getting back in the swing of things, which is why I'm sitting here typing, coffee in hand (coffee with soy milk in it, by the way, thanks to baby, but the sacrifice is well worth it of course. Of course.)

So, it's summer! Which for our homeschooling family doesn't exactly mean we are on a total school break, because, ya know, we like to keep things moving year around, so that when things pop up during the regular school break, we can afford to take days off when we choose and still get in our 180 full days of school. (I always laugh about that 180 days of school requirement that many states have, because really, aren't our kiddos learning something and growing into themselves everyday?) Nevertheless, it is summer, so we go a little slower, a little different, we drop of few things, and we add in so much more creativity, flexibility, and fun.

What's on our family's agenda this summer is a team building, music mastering challenge. Let me know what you think. I should add a poll on here (if only I knew how...remember technology is not something I am generally comfortable around...) to see how many people think we can actually pull this thing off. I'm not really sure that we will, but I am sure about one thing: I am not going to cut slack here on this challenge. We are sticking to the plan. And if we are successful, then, wow, what a lesson about the importance and reward of hard work and dedication, but if we aren't successful, then, wow, what a solid lesson on the importance and reward of hard work and dedication.

Okay, here's our plan (this is a copy, with a few changes to names, of the poster hanging up in our home):




OUR FAMILY'S GREAT SUMMER MUSIC CHALLENGE

Everyday we are home (for at least two hours, not including bedtime and meal times…music mastering can’t be rushed, right?), we shall complete the amount of time below of concentrated music practice. Minutes of laziness and whining do not count…that includes Mama and Daddy, too! :)


Mama Bear: piano practice 30 minutes per day
                        violin practice 30 minutes per day

Papa Bear: 1 hour and 15 minutes of guitar practice per day

Sister Bear: 20 minutes violin practice per day
                       14 minutes piano practice per day

Girly Bear: 20 minutes violin practice per day
                     10 minutes piano practice per day UNTIL her summer birthday, 
                     then she goes up to 12 minutes of piano practice per day

Little Bit Bear: unlimited singing of “Let it Go” and all things Frozen to be completed, along with concerts on her American Girl doll’s violin

Baby Brother Bear: daily vocal warm-ups




In June, July, and August, each day the family is ALL home and this is not completed results in one STRIKE. Three strikes and we are OUT, as in OUT of our family fun reward day after August 31st, which is:



Breakfast at our favorite coffee and tea shop, rock skipping and duck feeding at a pond, followed by a lunch picnic, go to a store to pick up a NEW movie we all agree on and popcorn, then back home for snack dinner made by all girls under the age of 8 (yep, they get to make dinner by themselves!), kids get a bath with too many bubbles, followed by family movie and popcorn night and staying up after bedtime. Woah.


Remember, three isn’t a lot, and three strikes and we are OUT. Let’s stay in this challenge. Did I mention the girls get to make dinner?...



Sickness Clause: Parent or Doctor confirmed illness does not excuse time, BUT can change the rules a bit: in the case of an ill musician, a family member or family members may take on the patient’s practice time until the illness passes. No minutes may be lost on a given day. We’re serious about this challenge…


MARK ANY STRIKES BELOW WITH X’s (Remember any Summer break day, JUNE-AUGUST, on which we are all home, is required to be counted towards the challenge).


STRIKES:







Let's see how this goes. 

Why we homeschool

I get asked almost on a daily basis why we homeschool our kids, and you know, most of the time, people are surprised with my responses. It seems that most people think we homeschool because we want our children to only learn about a Christian worldview or because we want to shelter them from nearly everything or because we have some kind of religious view against school systems. When in reality, we have many, many reasons we homeschool, not just one, and none of these reasons are what people tend to expect. It's pretty difficult to remember and to list all of our reasons, since there are so many, and each day it seems I come up with another one, but, since there are so many questions that come at me about our choice to homeschool, I thought maybe I should try to explain a bit here. We really have three reasons that always seem to come to the top of the stack for homeschooling, and here they are:

1. Hours in the day. Goodness gracious. These kids are pretty amazing, and I love being around them, and I believe that they gain much from spending most of their time with their family, specifically with the parents who are hoping to guide them as they grow into their individual self and to master the gifts they were given. And you know, my kids are young. They go to bed at seven, and not because I make them, but because they don't nap, and they are done at seven, and so we like the idea that we spend more than several waking hours together a day. And don't get me wrong, my kids are not locked in the house all day, never seeing anyone outside their immediate family. No, we are a part of a large homeschool group that meets for a day of school each week, the kids are in dance lessons, violin lessons, piano and art lessons, and we go to parks, museums, the library, and even to a local coffee shop as part of their educational plan each week. And when it comes to hours in the day, it isn't just about what the kids are doing, but what they aren't doing. By having an individualized school day, the kids can work through lessons efficiently. There's little time spent waiting, bathroom breaking, being quiet while others are disciplined, or sitting around while others are finishing up work. Of course, with our growing family, there is always going to be some waiting for turns, but not on the scale found in a school. And I'm not saying waiting is bad for kids; waiting is a part of life. I'm just saying, that it is kind of nice to not have to work on school work for 7 hours a day, since the time it would take for lunch, recess, waiting, and moving between classes is not such an issue at home. We love having more time for extra-curricular activities, too. As someone who has worked in the field of the arts, I have to say that I value their music lessons just as much as their math lessons. (Hours in the day is one of my top three reasons, but for my husband, this is definitely reason number one).

2. Academics.  I am passionate about challenging my children and packing them with as much knowledge and skill as their little minds can happily handle, which is a great deal. I have high standards for the education of my kids, and I really do believe that their young minds are capable of learning high level facts, operations, and grasping the wealth of wisdom and inspiration to be found in so-called  upper level literature, art, science, geography, history, and mathematics. We do have fun around here, baking and creating and coloring, but for the most part, most of our time is spent memorizing and listening, reading and sharing, and not so much on following the same directions on worksheets over and over again, or on crafts that are designed by someone else and ready to be put together, and definitely not on testing and box checking. It's exciting to see a five year old talk about Joan of Arc and the parts of speech and the different types of stars. Goodness, what is she going to be talking about during her lessons when she's twelve? That's an exciting thought.

3. Traveling Family. I grew up in a family that loved to travel. I was blessed with parents who thought it was important, beneficial, and fun to see the world, and to teach their children about the places visited. I am a history nerd, and when I think back to the times I learned the most about history, many of those times were spent at Williamsburg, in Colorado, in the Natural History Museum, at Yellowstone, and all sorts of other places far from home. My parents encouraged questions, and made sure our souvenirs were educational. I loved a book on first ladies purchased at Gettysburg, and read it so often as a child, studying the pictures and dates. I don't think the book would have been as special to me as a little girl, if it has been purchased through a catalog. There's something about being in the place where the event happened that really brings history to life for a child, and of course, this concept doesn't just go for history, but for all subjects. I never liked science all that much, but most of what I learned and held on to, I learned from hands on museums and planetariums. We have the freedom with homeschooling to just pick up and go somewhere if there is something we want to see that corresponds with our learning, and our kids won't be missing a beat, because we shape things around what we want to do. Our school comes with us. And having the freedom to travel as a family also makes for stronger sibling bonds. My brother and I were not always the sweetest of friends as kids, but on trips, we found a way to work together and get along, and I want that for my kids. I want them to learn to share the backseat, to share their souvenir money, and to share their school projects.

So there they are: our biggest, clearest reasons to homeschool out of a sea of a million little reasons. But most people I know who homeschool would have a different list entirely. I'm in a world full of homeschooling families at this point in my life, and it is so cool to me how everyone has a different story, a different purpose, and a different inspiration. We're all just trying to be great parents, and we all believe that teaching is a part of parenting and that you can't separate the two, because whether mothers and fathers claim it or not, we are our children's teachers. They do learn from us, good or bad. And that looks like something very different from family to family.

Before wrapping this up, I wanted to include some other voices, some other reasons. I've asked some friends to contribute to this post and have a few responses from fellow homeschooling moms included below. I hope this helps to show why some of us do what we do. And if you have another reason for homeschooling, then please share it in a comment if you'd like. Let's take away some of the mystery that seems to be out there. And thank you to my friends for their responses. If you have the time, please read on to see what some great homeschooling mothers have to say.

"It gave me the opportunity to cater to my child's strengths and weaknesses. To allow my child to go at their own pace. Some subjects or concepts may have required a bit more time for my child to grasp where in a classroom full of kids they must move on. And allows my child to move at a much quicker pace on subjects or concepts that they grasp quickly while not having to wait on a classroom full of kids to catch up. It also allowed my family to form lasting relationships with each other and in this fast pace world those are the relationships that count. Mostly it allows me the privilege of choosing my child's curriculum and peers. That is one of the things I valued most about homeschooling. There were times we changed curriculum midway. Not because of content, but because the style of teaching or format was just dragging my child down, and changing curriculum brought us a welcome relief. "

  -Donna

"We homeschool for a variety of reasons.  God gave me these children to raise.  Deuteronomy 11 says "¹⁸ Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ¹⁹ Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ²⁰ Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."  I have more time with my children while they are young to teach them God's Word and prepare them for life in the world.  We pray each year about whether to homeschool and God impresses it on our hearts to continue this journey.  There will come a day when my children would rather be with their friends than their parents.  While they actually want to be with us I feel like we should spend the time with them.  Our boys are three years apart which means they would be in separate schools/classrooms and have separate lives and friends.  They're brothers and friends.  They fight but they also love one another fiercely and have a great time playing together.  The time they have at home together is so precious.

Our first son stayed home with me until he was four.  I'd received a lot of pressure from our friends and family to put him in school so we gave it a try for VPK.  There were some positives but mainly it confirmed our suspicions, our son would learn best at home.  He was miserable in school and I knew more school would make him hate learning.  We're able to tailor the education of our son to his unique academic needs.  If he's flying through math then we let him.  He needs more help with writing and spelling so we carefully and gently develop those skills.  He's an auditory learner so I can read story after story and he just soaks up the information.  His little brother is an auditory learner as well (what a blessing) so at three he's spelling like a kindergartner.  He just listens to older brother's lessons and soaks up bits and pieces.  We learn division through cooking and experience world geography through food.  I choose the most meaningful activities that will teach/reinforce skills the most efficiently.  I don't particularly cherish the drama associated with dragging two children out the door early every morning for school.  There's a lot of rushing around and stress.  If we have a sick day we just make up the work later or snuggle on the couch with our school books.  School fits our lives instead of our lives fitting school.

The final reason we homeschool is so our children will be well socialized.  I know most people are so worried that homeschoolers will turn into weird hermits but I argue that there is nothing natural about putting a group of children the exact same age together.  Seven year old boys think bodily functions are the funniest thing in the world.  I don't see how spending all day with a roomful of kids who think that way is quality socialization.  Well socialized children should be able to talk to adults and children, make eye contact, and make new acquaintances.  Homeschool field trips have taught my shy son to make new friends.  He rarely sees the same children each time we go somewhere so he has learned to get acquainted with whomever is there and find a common interest.  He still has his best friends over for playdates and we have a regular group at Lego club, Bible study, Awana, and Sunday school so he has to learn to function in a group but what I love about several of those groups is that they are multi-age.  Two of his more recent "new friends" are three years older than him.  The one room school house has merit - the older children look out for the younger ones which teaches leadership and the younger ones see empathy and patience modeled and learn to be nurturers themselves.  I would say that out of my 30 closest friends, only four are my age.  The majority are older and several are younger.  That is the real world and that is what I am preparing my children for."

-Nicole

"Where to start!  There is so much I could say about homeschooling.  I have NOT always known I would homeschool.  It was only recently that I really began to know how important the freedom to homeschool my children was to me.  I am realizing that I have already taught them so much before we even started "school" formally.  In fact, I teach them every day.  My choice to homeschool is just a decision to be intentional about it and the result of a question to myself.... Who will ever have my child's best interest more at heart than I will?  As we approach one of our most important milestones..... learning to read..... I am so amazed that "teaching" really is as simple as talking and practicing and exploring with my child every day.  Working with them makes me proud of my children and gives me confidence in the innate ability I have as a parent to learn my child's abilities and learning styles.  I certainly don't take educating my children lightly and it is certainly not always easy but I hope to teach my children things I never learned in school and open the world to them because they are the most important parts of my life."

- Quote from a friend

Either I'm engaged with them or I'm not: Cell Phones and Mothering

I have been putting off this subject for a while because I don't want to sound preachy or unrealistic, and I also don't like stepping on my own toes all the darn time, which I always seem to be doing. BUT, its a new school year for us, our second year homeschooling, and in the spirit of starting fresh and being optimistic about the fabulous environment I can create for my children this year, here goes: Cell Phones are a busy Mama's little helper, especially if you're a mom like me who tends to get lost on the road all the time. They help us multi-task, making it possible to get in a quick call to the insurance company while making our coffee in the morning, and then again in the afternoon. YET, do I really want my children to live in a world where their mama may drop them at any moment to pick up the phone, turn away from them while holding up a serious "Wait one minute while Mama talks on the phone" finger, and then chat away with the same old darn insurance company or maybe even with a dear Mama friend of mine? I'm not saying that I want to drop my friendships or stop taking calls from family and from well meaning businesses, BUT I am saying that cell phones have changed the telephone game, and as a stay-at-home-mom, I am not going to play by the new rules any longer. I want to go back to the days when people called a telephone in order to reach me, rather than people calling me. Cell phones make it possible for our phone to be a part of us, rather than a thing we can connect to on our own time and when we are available. When I was a kid, if my parents were busy, then they weren't around to hear the phone ring or couldn't usually get to it on time. Board game time and bike riding time were not interrupted by phone calls. But now, who cares if we're busy or engaged with someone; the cell phone is in our back pocket, so let's pull it out and do two things at once.

It is easy to say there's something wrong when a family goes out to eat together, and all of them are playing on their phones, rather than talking to each other. But that's the extreme, the extreme-norm,  but still the extreme, I think. But what about taking it a step further? What about the family who is driving down the road together, and the kids are in the back seat, maybe on tablets or watching a movie, while the parent driving the car is carrying on a conversation with a friend. We can all reach our destination without ever having to actually talk to the people we are buckled in next to or in front of. How sad is this? And I have to say here that I am guilty. I have three little ones, who are pretty close together in age, and we are at the point in life when the easiest parenting moments I have, my biggest break, might very well be when they are all buckled in to car seats and can't be making messes or getting in each other's personal space, and so it is pretty tempting to grab my phone the second I get in the van, dial up a friend, put it on speakerphone, and then chat away (free handed....) because my kids are contained. I get it. I have lived it, but now I'm trying to break the habit of dialing up a number the second we pull out of the driveway and then chatting away like I'm all footloose and fancy free, because I'm not footloose and fancy free. My kids are in the car, and we'd all do better to be engaged in an actual conversation or listening to something together. Two things have shown me a new perspective on this. The first being that we now use CD's in the car to learn memory facts for homeschool for the week, and not only do I want to learn history, science, English, math, geography, and Latin facts with the kiddos (I am supposed to be their teacher, right?), but I also want to be a part of leading the learning process, pausing when we need to stop for explanation or to remind the girls to listen to the lessons on CD instead of only chatting it up in the backseat the whole time. The second thing was simple and humbling: my oldest daughter said, "When you talk on the phone all the way to where we're going, you don't hear me ask for the song I want to hear." Okay, so while she was probably mostly upset about not getting her song, as a mother who takes this mothering deal seriously, I hear, "You're talking to other people instead of listening to us and giving us what we need. You're ignoring us. We're invisible the whole time we're in the van." And maybe that may seem a bit dramatic to some, but ya know, sometimes the drama my girls and I exhibit stems from true feelings, and so I refuse to write off her comment and my interpretation of it as not too serious when it probably is a pretty serious problem in our mother/daughter relationship.

So, where does this leave me. On most days, it leaves me with a van full of kiddos, lots to talk about, bunches to learn, tons of questions and complaints and jokes to listen to, and a cell phone sitting on the seat next to me with a speaker phone function just waiting to be used so I can connect with a friend instead of being in constant kid world 24/7. And I'm learning to choose the best option for this situation, and to just say no to the desire to ignore the backseat noise and chat about something grown up the whole way. Or some days I am left with a full day of homeschooling and lessons to get through and attend, while my phone rings off the hook (huh....old phone saying from before the days of cell phones...). I don't want to ignore the people calling, but I also know I would be pretty unhappy if my kids' attended public school and their teachers were taking phone calls in class. So, why would I, their mother, interrupt their lessons for a call? So, I usually leave my phone in a different room or turn the ringer off when I'm really engaged with the kiddos.

And man, this is hard, and sometimes, on those days when I feel way, way, way far away from super mom, it is even more difficult to tune in to the little dears in the backseat. But they're my little dears, the ones I have and hope to be an all the time mother to, and so, the phone is just gonna have to wait. And ya know, when I need to get a quick question into the medical insurance company or to the cell phone company, or to check in with my husband, or to call up a fellow Mama for a little daily encouragement to help me through, then these smaller portions of my day can serve to teach my kids to be patient and to wait and that sometimes Mommy has to talk to another grown up, BUT, they'll also learn that sometimes isn't all the time, and that the people in front of me do not always have to take a backseat to the people on the other line. And don't get me wrong, 9 times out of 10 I know and love the people on the other line, but ya know, most of those people are Mamas, and they get that sometimes your hands are full and your mind is more full, and they love me and my kids and know that we're all trying to do the best we can. We always find a way to stay in touch.

And anyway, this is the kind of thing that happens when I step away from the kids to answer the phone. Doorways get covered with stickers, and really, this is best case scenario.